marsupial jones
|
Thoughts on riding from a beginner - 2009/08/03 15:14
This is a bloggish thing I wrote on Facebook that Pontzer and E. Lenzing said I might post here. I don't know if it belongs here or in the Soapbox section. If anyone likes this one, I'll post the other 2. I'm obsessed with my bike. Keep in mind I'm a beginner so a lot of this probably seems like "DUH" to you guys.
Last week's (July 9th) beginner ride I worked really hard. This week, I had my ass handed to me. At first I felt alright, though it was taking me a long time to warm up. And I actually woke up in bed last night and said out-loud "Oh! Staying in the harder gear in an attempt to warm up faster seems to have had the opposite effect!" So, I eventually worked out the stuff in the muscles and the burning went away, but a moderately distracting gas/intestine thing got worse over the course of the ride. It wasn't as though I was afraid of necessarily crapping my pants on uphills, but it was certainly in my mind to not do so.
So, we toottled around, Harry's trail, some other one's I've done before. Then we did some really hard stuff to newbies. We practiced several chutes, basically 10-12 feet sharp drops (think, like 50-70 degrees, some closer to 90 it seemed like though in retrospect and retries, not that steep of course) in which you go down and then up on the other side. There was lots of falling, me grabbing trees, eating trees, grabbing guys to not fall back down the hill, and a pretty big ole stick embedded in my leg. It was hard and scary and definitely caused some major endorphins, adrenalin rushes. Because I was nervous, I was clutching my bike, which led to feeling more nervous and not loosening up makes you feel every bump. Then we rode on some SCARY stuff, bench cut into a little cliff, curvy with rocks and roots that just suddenly shot out at you practically. My gasps and shrieks were not silly, they were bona fide fear. Ok. We were doing alright. And then I just sort of fell apart.
Once you get off your bike to walk once or twice, it becomes an option every time. I lose confidence and pride every time I get off and more importantly maybe, I lose actual and mental momentum. At one point, I was walking nearly 75% of it. Embarrasingly, this is in Scotia and I have reridden a lot of this and been able to do it. I eventually rode much better and didn't get off but it was really hard and demoralizing. I was near tears a couple times. I ate a little food, wasn't dehydrated. It was really mental.
The thing about mountain biking is that there's this constant vigilance that requires you to look ahead, trust your brain, avoid the fear of dying and hurting yourself, face hurting yourself, have exhilaration, compare yourself to everyone else and maintain all this through varying degrees and kinds of obstacles. After a while, I just have a brain fatigue. I cannot maintain concentration and I just wreck over and over.
The guys who run the ride and the other folks along were absolutely wonderful and kind and sweet and offered help and advice and, most helpful of all, patience w/o judgment. I'll go back next week for sure.
I faced a lot of fear and disappointment. I did clear some logs and a coupla pyramids that I hadn't before. I didn't wreck in spots I might have 3 weeks ago. I made it up one of the chutes and then fell at the top and I tried almost all of them.
So I'll keep trying and doing. I'll get better.
The other part that was awful was the post-ride. I ate. I drank water. I had about 1/3rd of a beer. And I felt terrible and dizzy and upset and weary. And SORE folks, SORE. I rebashed my shin from last week (which picture I need to upload). I was bleeding from my other shin and had tumbled around so was just a little beat up. After these kind of rides I don't sleep well and I was awake every 1.5 hours or so and was up from 4 to 530 am reading and 630 to 730 reading. It sucked. I basically had a hangover this morning. I'm determined not to let this make me stop. I almost came home last night in the middle of the ride, but I knew that it would make it hard for me to go out again.
I want to have a little time to spin along my favorite trails today. I may not get to it due to scheduling stuff.
Mountain biking is really hard, especially when you want to get better and especially when you have a strong self-preservation drive. It is pretty amazing though. If anyone wants to go with me sometime, let me know.
Let me say publicly that I love the NMBA folks including the Lenzig's and the dudes who have helped me so far. They are so wonderful. Jon W. [the Buckland's housemate] is also awesome to ride with. I always feel like he just thinks I can try anything. He has faith in me and encourages me without lots of words or judgment. I always feel unembarrassed wrecking with him.
And my husband? Well lots of folks can testify that not only is he an amazing rider but he is also kind and patient and funny and just believes in you.
I fall a lot and have the bruises to prove it. I'm not very afraid of wrecking anymore. I sort of don't care. It's important to try stuff and know that wrecking probably won't kill me. Probably. I posted a couple of pics of my bruises/cuts cause I'm proud of them for some weird reason. 
|
